How many times a day do you go on Instagram or any social media platform, stare at a bunch of beautiful, successful people and think, "WHY is that not me?!" I probably do this for at least 2 hours a day. THAT IS INSANE.
My conception of reality has been so skewed lately. I see one thing and I think, "How do I get that exact photo, how do I write like this person, how do I connect with people like this person does?!" I am letting my brain be infiltrated by negativity because of how I think I should be, instead of just being myself.
Since April 7, 2016, I have decided to live an open and honest life. My sobriety has taken me down a path where I feel that it is my purpose to share my experience. I have always wanted to inspire others and hopefully show that life sober is a life filled with meaning. By sharing my experiences, I share the most vulnerable pieces of myself. This has made what I share unique at times but also makes me feel exposed. I am okay with this feeling because I know what I write about is helping people. Through writing and Instagram, I feel connected to the community and I love what it has done for my life. Unfortunately, the controlling part of me is embracing it maybe a little too much and it is starting to affect me in a harmful way.
Back to where I am now. Being in the blogger/Instagram/even life game is hard. It is filled with pictures and writers who are people you aspire to be. It is great to have idols that you look up to but for me personally, I feel like it has become unhealthy. My partner tells me all the time to delete Instagram because of how I allow it to make me feel.
I have decided that for my own sanity, that I need to reframe my thoughts. I feel like I let myself slip into this thinking and I need to work myself out of it.
My goal has always been and will forever be to share positivity, hope, kindness, and self-love. I never want what I share or write to be tainted by my insecurities of wanting to be like someone else. In a world where everyone wants to look the same, feel the same or be the same, be the person that stands the fuck out! Take charge of your own individuality and rock it!
I am going to stop comparing myself to the world and be my crazy, weird, over-sharing, wild self, with a love of helping others till the day I die. I am going to embrace my place in life and remind myself constantly how proud I am of getting this far.
Find your own path, you may not think it looks perfect on the outside, but it is perfectly made for you! OWN IT.