There are two super common things people say to me about sobriety.
1. That they could never do it! (which isn't true)
2. I am so lucky to have started this journey when I was young.
Whenever people say this to me it really gets me thinking. WHY don't people think they can get sober?! What has happened in our society that drinking (and drugs,) have become so normal when it comes to socializing! It is to the point that so many people feel they couldn't do so without a drink.
I used to be that person that would literally laugh at the idea of going out sober and never understand why anyone would do that. The idea made me feel so uncomfy that even the thought of not drinking would give me anxiety. This is not a good feeling (and probably should have been a sign lol.)
When I got out of rehab I was 22 years old. I had no f*cking clue what my life was going to be like and I seriously thought I would never have fun again. From such a young age fun=partying and I knew nothing else. It took a while to figure out what fun meant for me.
I quickly realized that I LOVEEE to dance. I mean the zero fucks given, be crazy kind of dancing. I don't look cool or know what I am doing but what I do know is that if I am on a dance floor, I am happy.
I find everyone I have met in early sobriety has a different experience when it comes to being around drinking (and even drugs.) For me, I realized because of my age a lot of events and parties were going to be at bars/clubs. Because of this, I developed an honesty system with myself. I always say, if you are ever not feeling 100%, or feeling minorly triggered, you cannot go to a place with alcohol.
Now, this can be risky! As a person who abused drugs and alcohol, putting myself in any situation where either of these things may be present is always a gamble. When I first got sober, I would rarely be in a situation where this would be the case. I waited till I had months of sobriety before I started going out with my friends consistently.
Things are a bit different now. I have over two years of sobriety and I have gotten used to my new lifestyle. I always find the craziest thing is that I can say now with not an ounce of dishonesty that I have WAY more fun sober then I ever did drinking. Sure, there were times that were fun but now the type of fun I have is pure and real.
Experiencing life this way has been such a gift. I never thought this would be my life nor did I want it to be, but f*ck I am SO glad that it is.
Not everyday is easy, and yes I have fomo at times but it is okay because I know that I wouldn't be where I am today without my sobriety.
I want to reflect about the two points I started with. When people tell me that I am lucky that I did this young I really believe that. Instead of letting my addiction grow and ruin more lives, I have taken charge now and refuse to let it control me. I see people struggling at all ages with this disease and I don't want that to be me. As long as I make my sobriety my priority, I know I can stay sober one day at a time.
Lastly, to anyone who thinks this is impossible, especially at a young age, you are wrong. I never ever EVER thought I could do this, but here I am today, writing a f*cking blog about being sober. I find it so funny sometimes!! I see people struggling all the time with the possibility of there being a problem with substance abuse. It sucks. I have been there. The back and forth between thinking you are okay and then one day thinking you totally are not. It's the worst. All I can say to this is if there is smoke there is fire. Maybe you have a problem, maybe you don't but a life of sobriety is an incredible one. I promise you, I would not be sober today if I didn't have fun almost every single day.
I will end with this. If you need someone to talk to, I am here. I wish there was someone I could have spoken to when I was going through all of this, so I want to reach out my hand to anyone who needs it. Addiction is terrifying and dealing with it alone is even worse.
Sending everyone all my love!